A Sip of the Past

FEU Advocate
March 27, 2023 15:17

Life, as I learned, was supposed to be this way:
I am nothing but a moth orbiting a lighted candle
It warms me, yet it holds me captive
With wings reduced to ashes—I perished just like Icarus

I was taught to push boundaries to stand tall
Yet for you, life was a mere cup of tea
Blooming amongst flowers in our home’s well-tended garden,
Beating around the bush at noon with your imaginary friends.

Your amusement was too Greek for me to indulge
Mind you, be wary of the spoiled milk dressed in steaming Earl Grey
Poured in Lola’s ancient porcelain covered with webs
As I clearly recall, you detested being burnt.

Residing in dormancy within me is my purest form
Clumsy as you were, you danced with your pointe shoes
Shut eyes woke by the far-stretched light
I see an ever-so-lovely girl, my inner child.

You are a reminder that my hoarse voice was once gentle like a breeze,
Crooning lullabies instead of evoking a hurricane
My mouth has become foreign to sweets
A delicacy I can no longer taste for I don’t deserve it.

Nails dug into palms in days of self-loathing scarred your delicate hands
Lumps in my throat during nights of cries suppressed were also yours to swallow
You are a part of me I reckoned departed
Eternalized but brushed aside, loved but neglected.

Yet you wrapped me the tightest that tells me not to go
A sip of the past granting me with kindness, for it was all you’ve ever known
A seal to a promise—I will not leave you alone:
My inner child, it was nice meeting you again.

-Nathalie Melanio

(Illustration by Joven Veluya/FEU Advocate)